What I've Done
by Emmah-belle
Summary: Sean & Emma are over, and Sean is ready to move on. Ellie is in a place she wants to be. But when they want each other and exes get involved, can love survive the odds? Sellie
1. No Business Like Show Business

**There's No Business Like Show Business**

Sean, Jay, Alex, and Marco slowly walked into the overly lit auditorium of the University of Toronto campus. Marco was buzzing around like a little bumblebee so excited to see Ellie on stage, even if she was forcibly in the show for a class. Alex was going to find seats and Jay and Sean were following her.

"Dude, why are we going to this thing? Ellie and I aren't on good terms and I honestly don't think she'd be too happy to see me here" Sean said in a huff, not only afraid to see Ellie but also not really wanting to sit through a 2 hour musical.

"A, I don't got a choice. I promised Lexxi she got me for the day and she chose to go to this and I am not suffering alone. B, Ellie is over it… she won't care if you're here or not so stop trying the paper thin excuse. Just because you and Emma broke up doesn't mean you have to be all mopey. Last time I checked you broke it off, so just shut up and enjoy the show!" Jay said laughing.

They took their spots next to Alex and within a few moments Marco, the bouncing boy, came and sat with them along with the infamous Craig Manning.

"Craig! Dude? You're back from Vancouver, nice to see ya!" Sean said.

"Yeah… thought I'd surprise Ellay and maybe get her to forgive me… ya know." Craig looked uncomfortable about having to explain what happened between him and Ellie last time he was here but luckily Sean already knew.

The curtain opened and the lights went off. There were a bunch of people on stage singing about some sort of high school love and everyone stared at Ellie. She came on stage looking as gorgeous as ever and sang like an angel. The shock on Craig's face was so funny that Jay broke into quiet hyseterics. Sean laughed too but was too taken aback by how gorgeous Ellie looked to really care. The show went on and Sean faintly remembered Manny being on stage and Ellie getting to say "And look it's our very own resident whore!" to Manny and getting to flick her off. Marco had a face of awe and everyone could tell that Marco was actually quite proud of the line, even if it was in character.

The first act was over and they all sat there in silence for the whole fifteen minutes not sure what to do. The show came back on and they all watched Ellie and Manny run all over the stage with Ellie being the obvious leading lady. The ending came and went and Sean really could care less. All he really did care was that when Ellie was up for curtain call all of them went wild.

They all went to the lobby to meet a very tired over-make-upped Ellie. She smiled and gave Marco, Alex and even Jay a hug. It was then that she noticed both Sean and Craig.

"Sean! Nice to see you… glad to see you and Jay are still close as ever" Ellie said while giving him a small hug, enough to not be rude but not enough to say that she really was excited to see him.

Sean smiled and twiddled his fingers as he stared at her gorgeous hazel eyes and porcelain skin wondering how he had chosen Emma over Ellie.

"Craig… you're… here. That's lovely" Ellie managed to mutter and walked off with Alex and Marco to go get coffee down the street.

Jay, Craig and Sean all looked at each other.

"Okay dudes, you both have been staring at the girl all night. Are you two just horny or in love?" Jay finally blurted out.

Sean and Craig stared at each other for a second then stared at Jay.

Sean's mind was going a mile a minute. _Do I love her? Is it possible that I am still in love with Ellie?_ He thought to himself. He nodded at Jay.

"Yeah… I guess I do." He said with a smile.

Craig looked at him angrily and stormed off in a huff. Sean didn't know what he was going to do or if Craig was going to get in the way but he did know that no matter what it took, he wanted his girl back.


	2. How I Feel

**How I Feel**

Ellie, Marco, and Alex walked into Café Leona, the most popular coffee shop on campus. Ellie got a cup of black coffee while Alex and Marco got some weird frappachino things that Ellie had never heard of. They seated themselves in some comfy armchairs and Alex and Marco stared at Ellie.

"What?" Ellie asked confused.

Marco and Alex exchanged looks at each other as if to acknowledge something was going on.

"Ellie, not to be weird but you're over Craig right?" Marco asked while sipping his frappachino then rubbing his head due to a brain freeze.

"Um, yeah! I don't want him that way anymore… whatever sparks there used to be have officially perished. Why?" Ellie said with a smile.

Alex smiled slyly then said, "Well, I think that I know someone who is much better for you and well… I was wondering if maybe you would…" Alex trailed of with a smirk.

"Alex! No, please, I don't want to be set up with some random guy." Ellie said shaking her head.

'He isn't random Ellie. I've known him for ages. Hell, so have you!" Alex said in a whiny tone, annoyed that Ellie wasn't going for the initial idea.

"Who? Who are you attempting to hook me up with? Please don't say Jay!" Ellie said with her eyes wide. Even though Ellie thought Jay was a cool guy she just didn't see him that way.

"Jay? Hell no! I wouldn't set anyone up with Jay! He and girls need a cool out time. I was thinking more along the lines of a hot guy with nice biceps and great eyes." Alex said flashing one of those 'you-know-who-I'm-talking-about' smiles.

"Alex… who are you talking about?" Ellie said nervously, afraid that who Alex was thinking of was the same guy that she was, considering not many guys fit that description.

"Sean… I mean c'mon El; everyone knows that you two are absolutely perfect for each other!" Alex said.

Ellie looked at Alex in dread. _I knew she was going to say Sean. I just knew it! Why is it that she just had to chose the one guy that I've never really gotten over? _Ellie thought to herself.

"No!" Ellie said quickly looking away as fast as she could.

"Why not, Ellie? I've seen the way you look at him! You look at him like he's the world and you want him back more then anything." Marco said, now fully recovered from his brain freeze.

"Marco, I'm… well I guess I'm just not over Sean. And honestly, I refuse to be Emma Nelson's substitute. We all know that no matter what that boy will always run back to her, so why even attempt. Any attempt is completely in vain. I was already the rebound girl once, I won't do that again. My heart just can't take that, guys!" Ellie said with her cheeks flushed. She had always thought that but never actually got the guts to say it aloud.

"You were never a rebound. He came back for Emma, yeah, but not because he didn't love you. He came back for her because he thought you didn't love him anymore!" Alex told her persistent.

Ellie shook her head and Alex and Marco gave up for the time being. They got up and headed to Marco and Ellie's house and watched movies for the rest of the night.

Alex and Marco passed out early in the night. Ellie sat in her room alone staring out the window. _Sean… he came back for Emma… not me! Why should I try again? Why? But I love him… No! No, I don't! I just think… he's nice… right? _Ellie thought to herself not sure what to do about the situation. _I love him… I know it! _Ellie finally concluded in her mind.

Her phone started to ring. She looked at the caller id and saw that it was Craig calling. She didn't want to talk to him but she knew she could never move on with Sean unless she got him out of the way. She picked up the phone.


	3. A Day Late

**A Day Late**

"Hey El!" Craig said enthusiastically over the phone. Ellie was trembling because she knew how hard it was for her to refuse Craig and how he always had her wrapped around his little finger.

"Hey… so what's going on?" Ellie said in a bored tone, as if to signal to Craig that she was just not interested in whatever shit he was trying to sell to her this time.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" Craig asked with a painful sound in his voice.

"No, of course not! Why the hell would I be mad that you used me? Why in the world would I be angry that you told me you loved me, especially since you knew I loved you, then only said it to get your cocaine? That doesn't make me mad at all!" Ellie said in her super sarcastic voice.

Craig sighed and Ellie felt slightly bad for being so harsh but reminded herself that unless Craig got out of the picture, the golden opportunity with Sean would be gone forever.

"Ellie… I really am sorry! I… I was an idiot. I know that, but I do really love you. I have… Hell I have loved you since the summer Ashley left. You were always on my mind. Manny never even came close to you! Please just give me a second chance… I'm clean and I've changed!" Craig said with a pleading voice.

"No… no Craig! I'm done… I don't want this anymore. Whatever chance we had, is gone. You will always be my friend… my rock and my shoulder to cry on and I'll always be your musical fusion and I'll catch you when you fall… but not as your girlfriend. I'm sorry." Ellie told him honestly.

"Ellie… you don't mean that! I know you love me. I know it and so do you. We belong together. You're like my other half… the half that I lack and I'm like the part of you that's willing to take a chance. I need you and I know you need me! Why are you trying to deny that Ellie? Why?" Craig said exasperated.

"Maybe in the past Craig, but not anymore! I don't love you! There… there's someone else. He… he has my heart and I just won't get it back. You can't have it because I don't have it to give. It's been taken and… maybe I want him to have it." Ellie said regretting the words, knowing that she would have a lot of explaining to do.

"Who… who, Ellie? Who is it that gets your heart? Who is it that is so high and mighty and gets you? Because I promise you, I deserve you so much more then he does. Is it Jesse? Jesse doesn't deserve you El! Please… please Ellie, just give me a chance. I promise you that I can be ten times better then whoever the hell you think deserves your heart. I know it!" Craig said trying to convince her.

"Craig… It isn't Jesse. It was never Jesse. Jesse was… a fling to put it simply. He never had my heart and he never will but… one other guy did. He loved me and I loved him and he hurt me as much as you… if not more. But despite that, I still love him. Why do I love him? I'm not sure, but I know that I do and that no matter how hard I freaking try he won't get out of my head!" Ellie said more to herself then Craig.

"You're freaking kidding me Ellie! Who else is there? Wait… Sean? Are you freaking still in love with Sean? Are you kidding me? He doesn't love you Ellie. He never will! He loves Emma and you will never live up to her in his eyes! He came back for her… not you. He doesn't want you Ellie… don't you realize that? He doesn't deserve you!" Craig said unfeelingly. Craig realized how far over the line he crossed and immediately wanted to take the words back.

Ellie sat there quietly and took a deep breath. Someone entered the room but she didn't notice.

"You know what? You're wrong! He did love me! And he does love me now, I can see it in his eyes! He may have come back for Emma but he wasn't meant for her… he wasn't! He was made for me… and only me and no matter what you say… he will always have my heart and I will always love him even if he will never love me back!" Ellie said then hung up in a huff.

Ellie started crying hoping in her heart that Craig was wrong but she was almost positive that he was right and that killed her.

"Ellie… he does love you" Jay said from the other side of the room.

Ellie turned around startled and stared at Jay in awe.

"What… what did you just say?" Ellie said with a shocked look on her face.

"Sean… he loves you. Hell, he didn't come back for Emma. When he heard you were with that Jesse guy he just assumed you two were so far over there was no point. Emma is that overly occurring chick all guys have. But he's done with her; he told me himself and Craig this afternoon." Jay said then sat down next to her.

Ellie stared at him in shock not sure what to say.

"Craig said that… that Sean didn't…" Ellie trailed off.

"Because he wants you! Of course he is going to tell you that Sean doesn't want you so that you don't want Sean!" Jay said laughing.

Ellie smiled and stared at her hands not sure what she was supposed to do.

"Ellie… go get the hell in my car! You and I are going to my house to visit little Seany… for once I'm going to be helpful. Mostly because neither of you will stop sulking till I do" Jay said smiling and helped her up.

Ellie ran around getting on anything that made her look flattering, quickly throwing on light makeup and her shoes then ran down to Jay's car breathless.

"Are you sure Jay? Are you really sure he loves me?" Ellie asked apprehensively.

Jay smiled and turned on the car. "Ellie… get ready to go get your man" he said and they drove off.


	4. I Miss You

**I Miss You**

Ellie sat in Jay's car staring at the window. She could feel the butterflies erupting throughout her stomach. She wasn't sure exactly what she was doing; going out on a whim like this was so unlike her, because she was one of those people who constantly found the need to overanalyze even the most simple of situations.

"El… chill out! He isn't gonna bite you… unless you want him to that is." Jay said in his trademark attitude, after about five minutes of pure silence.

Ellie gave him a look of disgust. "Must you make every situation between me and Sean a sexual innuendo?" She asked him annoyed but grateful for the break of the silence.

"Uh… yeah! This is what I do… and anyways it was just a joke. I am the one helping here." Jay said laughing.

"Sorry, Jay. It's just… I'm so nervous. I mean, what if he leaves me like he did last time? What if all of the sudden he decides to gallivant off to god-knows-where without me? I'm not sure if I'm ready to deal with that. But then again, at the same time, I want nothing more then to just run into his arms and-" Ellie said and was then interrupted.

"No need to go into descriptive about what you want to do to my best friend, if you don't mind." Jay said with a mildly disgusted look on his face.

Ellie just laughed at him and continued to stare out the window. _What if I make a complete fool out of myself? What if he wants the old Ellie and not the woman I have become but the eleventh grader he left? _Ellie thought to herself but quickly pushed it from her mind as she saw that they were on Sean's street.

"You ready to face him?" Jay said with a smirk.

"Not in the least." Ellie admitted.

"El… don't worry about it. He'd be insane to say no to you… and I know he won't so just chill and let it flow." Jay said calmly while parking the car in front of Sean's apartment complex.

Jay got out of the car and Ellie sat there for a moment, not ready to face the reality of where she was and what she was about to do. _Can I do this? _She thought. _I'm a strong determined woman and I'm not gonna let a little fear stop me!_ She told herself.

She got out of the car, seeing that Jay had waited for her at the steps. She nodded to him signaling that she was ready to go and the headed to the 3rd floor of the building and stopped in front of door 316.

Jay rang the doorbell and he and Ellie waited while her stomach did flips. A few moments later, the door opened and there he was. Sean Cameron.

A/N: sorry I haven't updated in awhile but I have been SO extremely busy but I promise that I am going to start updating regularly from now on. Sorry this is kinda short but I really wanted their encounter to be a whole chapter in itself.


	5. Crush

**Crush**

"Jay… El-ellie, um c'mon in, I was just ordering a pizza." Sean said surprised to see his best friend and the woman of his dreams at his doorstep unannounced.

"Actually… I gotta go to work… so buh-bye!" Jay said rushing off. Before he left though he whispered "Stop blushing, you look like a popsicle" to Ellie and he ran off before either could protest to being left alone together.

Ellie and Sean stood at the doorway awkwardly for a few moments until Sean saw Ellie shivering. He cursed himself for not realizing how cold she must be considering it was about 40 degrees outside and she was wearing a light jacket at most.

"Come on in… I got enough pizza to go around. If you want… that is." Sean said trying to not sound desperate.

"Yeah… okay sure." Ellie said. She stepped into his apartment. It was white and the walls where blank, except for one wall, the wall straight in front of her, where both the bathroom door and another door, which she assumed led to Sean's bedroom was. There was a picture of him and Ellie. It was taken in her junior year, right before he left. They were both smiling on the couch and he was kissing her cheek. She remembered Alex taking that picture one day they were all hanging out. It was a Tuesday. Jimmy got shot that Friday.

"You… still have that picture of us?" Ellie said walking up to it, trying to hold back tears of so many emotions.

"Yeah… I mean, that was probably the best afternoon of my life. It was probably the last afternoon my life was ever… normal." Sean replied sitting on his couch.

Ellie touched the picture with trembling hands. She pulled her hand away, as if the picture stung her hand. She immediately broke into tears and fell onto the floor.

Sean ran over to her, not sure if he should hug her or back away. He decided to hug her instead.

Ellie pulled away from him and stared at him then whispered in a voice barely audible, "Why did you leave me?"

Sean stared at her in shock, obviously surprised that not only was she asking him that question but not yelling at him as she did.

Ellie continued, "Why didn't you take me with you? Why did you never call or write? Why did you come back for Emma?" she said and then finally, "Why wasn't I good enough?"

After asking that final question she started to sob harder, completely forgetting where she was. Sean looked at her in awe, so upset with himself for all the things he had put her through.

"Ellie… I left because I had to. I couldn't love you the way you deserved unless I learned to love myself first. I wanted to call, and write, and email, and just run back to you and bring you with me but I couldn't because… I knew that if I did, I would be asking you to give up so much. As for Emma, I went out with her because she was… safe. She was never a challenge. I know how to make her mad, and happy. She wasn't complex. You on the other hand… are. And I was afraid to put you through the same pain twice." Sean said while looking Ellie straight in the eyes.

"What if I wanted you to risk it? What if I felt you were worth the risk?" Ellie shot back at him.

"I was wrong. I know no matter what I say, it doesn't change the mistakes I made. But, I loved you Ellie… in fact, I still love you. I never stopped and I seriously doubt that I ever will stop. I know that you don't feel the same. I know that you love Craig and that he is everything that I wasn't for you but I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm not going anywhere." Sean said looking at her sadly but honestly.

"Sean, I don't love Craig…" Ellie said looking up at him from where she sat on the floor. "Yeah, I did have a thing for him, but I don't now. He was something to fill the void that you left inside of me. But then, instead of filling it, he destroyed me worse the ever before. He had his chance, and he hurt me more then you ever have, or ever will. I'm not saying that he doesn't have a place in my heart, because he does, and he always will, but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you" Ellie told him as she stood up to face him.

Sean looked at her shocked and then decided to throw caution to the wind. He pulled her close and kissed with more passion then he had ever kissed anyone. He put all the pent up passion and pain and regret into that kiss and so did she, and when they broke apart, he smiled at her.

They held onto each other and then Sean led her to the couch and pulled her into his lap.

"I really am sorry, you know that right?" Sean said, leaning his head against hers.

"Yeah… I know. I really don't love Craig, you know that, right?" She said to him kissing his cheek.

"I know. Where does that leave us?" Sean asked mildly confused but truly hoping for a specific answer.

"Depends… where do you want it to leave us?" she said to him, looking him straight in the eye, also waiting for a specific answer that she wanted to hear.

"I want to be with you, forever. I want to grow old with you and have kids with you and have a house and a dog. I want to have grandkids and sing Christmas carols around our tree at Christmas, but right now, all I want is to be with you. That's all I ask of you." Sean said seriously.

"Good… and it better be a small dog, because I am so not sharing my bed with it!" Ellie said with a giggle.

Sean smiled at her and started to tickle her. He had missed her laugh and wanted to back in it for as long as he could. She laughed hysterically for such a long time till her face grew red and right as she was about to explode from all the laughter, there was a knock on the door.

She looked at Sean confused, and then realized it must be the pizza guy. Sean grabbed his wallet and went to the door. Unfortunately, it wasn't the pizza man. There stood Craig Manning, but it wasn't him that got Sean and Ellie upset. It was the fact that Sean wasn't staring at Craig ,but staring down the barrel of a gun.

A/N: cliffhanger! I want 3 reviews and I'll post another chapter


	6. Iris

**Iris**

Ellie sat outside Toronto General Hospital's ER room, crying her eyes out. She never believed that Craig Manning, the boy who was supposed to be her friend, would do such a horrible thing. She had been waiting for two hours. No one had told her anything about Sean's condition. The night just kept replaying in her head.

//Flashback//

"_Craig… what're you doing?" Sean said backing away from the door slowly._

"_I'm taking what's rightfully mine, I'm getting my girl back" Craig said with a demented smile on his face._

_Ellie looked at him terrified as he pointed the gun to Sean's head. "Craig… have you taken your meds today?"_

"_It doesn't matter if I've taken my fucking meds Eleanor! You do as I say or Sean gets it. You belong to me, you mother fucking whore." Craig said spitefully as he advanced on her, still sure to drag Sean along with him._

"_Craig, man you don't want to do this. You need to calm down. We can talk this out and everything will be fine." Sean said, trying to sound calm._

"_Shut up! You're trying to take my girl away from me. You deserve what you get." Craig yelled at Sean kneeing him in the face. Sean's nose started bleeding and Ellie moved to help him when Craig pointed the gun at her._

"_Move and you die too" Craig said to her. Ellie stared at him and Sean took the moment to tackle Craig._

_Craig and Sean rolled around on the floor trying to wrestle the gun from each other. Ellie ran to the phone and called 911 and then heard a gunshot go off. She ran into the room to see Craig running away in shock, and Sean laying there with a bullet in his gut._

_// End Flashback//_

Ellie cried thinking about the night. She had finally gotten the guy of her dreams back, and then BAM! He could be gone forever. Marco came up and rubbed her back. She had called Sean's parents, Marco, and Emma. She hadn't wanted to call Emma but she wasn't sure if he wanted to see her and in the off chance that he did, she wanted Emma there.

A doctor wearing scrubs came up to Sean's parents. "Are you the parents of Sean Cameron?" he asked them.

"Yes, oh my god, how's my baby?" Sean's mom said hurriedly.

"He's going to be fine. It luckily didn't hit any vital organs. We're going to stitch him up. We want to keep him for observation for a few days, make sure he'll be fine. He's asking for someone named… Emma" the doctor said to them.

Ellie gulped and Emma gave her a satisfied smile. Emma pushed passed Ellie then went into Sean's room. Ellie tried not to cry but she couldn't hold it back. _I though we were back? I guess… I was wrong _Ellie said to herself. Ellie looked through the window and saw Emma kiss Sean. She turned around too quickly to see Sean push Emma off him. Ellie ran out of the hospital and sat outside.

Sean and Emma were fighting inside the hospital room.

"Emma… I told you we're over. I only called you in to ask you if you could take care of Ellie while I'm in here. I don't have Marco's phone number… so I thought maybe you would be a friend, for once and do something for me." Sean said angry at her.

"Sean, I love you. I will always love you, but I will not tolerate you two being together. She is a stupid slut who just wants your pity. It's me or her, that's it. Me or her." Emma said to him viciously.

"Her" Sean said to Emma seriously.

"What? What did you just say?" Emma said shocked and angry.

"I said I choose her. I love her, and I always will. I'm sorry. Go send Ellie in." Sean said.

Emma stomped out and Sean could see her talking. Marco was shaking his head. Sean wondered what was going on, when Marco came in.

"Marco? I told Em to send Ellie in…" Sean trailed off when Marco gave him a sad look.

"Umm… Ellie's gone." Marco told him.

"Huh? Ellie wouldn't have just left, what happened?" Sean asked worridly.

"She um… she saw you and Emma kissing and she left. She didn't see you push Emma away so… I mean she just ran out." Marco told him sitting next to him.

"Someone has to go after her! Craig is still out there. She could get hurt. She could get…" Sean said panicking. Sean attempted to get up when Marco motioned him back down.

"I'll go look for her, just stay still. She'd be more hurt if you hurt yourself trying to find her." Marco said and he left the room. Sean's parents came in and Marco headed out where Ellie had run.

He saw Ellie and Emma yelling at each other on the curb. Marco could see Ellie crying and Emma pulling at Ellie's hair. Before he knew what was happening, Ellie and Emma were on the concrete fighting. Marco ran outside and pulled them apart.

"You little whore! He left you for me… why the hell would he go back to you?" Emma was yelling at Ellie hysterically.

"Because he loves me… HE LOVES ME!" Ellie yelled back.

Emma started sobbing and walked away towards her car and left. Marco hugged Ellie tightly.

"He didn't kiss her… she kissed him. He pushed her away." Marco whispered in her ear.

Ellie nodded and she and Marco walked into the hospital. Sean's parents were sitting in the room with him and they were talking animatedly. Sean saw Ellie and then asked his parents to leave. Ellie walked into the room and stood by the door while his parents gave him hugs goodbye. They hugged her also then left the room.

Ellie walked over to Sean's bed and sat down facing the other way. Sean grabbed her hand and tilted her head so she was staring into his eyes.

"I'm sorry… this is my fault. I … I'm so sorry." Ellie said to him with tears in her eyes. Sean wiped her tears away and pulled her until she lay down next to him with her head on his chest.

"This is not your fault, El. This is Craig's fault. You didn't know he was going to do this. You didn't ask him to do this. It's okay." Sean said and he kissed the top of her head.

Ellie looked at him and smiled. She kissed him with everything in her heart and he kissed her back. Neither of them said anything for the rest of the night. The nurses didn't bother either of them. They just laid there and fell asleep together, not sure of what tomorrow would bring.


	7. Beautifully Undone

**Beautifully Undone**

Ellie woke up in Sean's arms, smiling at the fact that he was still there. Not only was he still in her life but, he was still alive. She still couldn't understand what would possess Craig to shoot Sean though.

Craig was one of Jimmy's best friends. He was also the last one to forgive Spinner for being even involved with his friend getting shot. Then, when JT died, he was just as passionate about that too. So the idea of Craig shooting someone almost seemed absurd through the eyes of someone who was actually close to him. But obviously, Ellie didn't know Craig anymore or at least not this Craig.

Sean stirred next to her and she smiled at him.

"Hey sleepyhead! Sleep well?" Ellie asked kissing him on the cheek.

"The best I've had in years. But, that's because you were in my arms." Sean said smiling.

Ellie was about to respond when a police officer came into the room with a solemn look on his face. Ellie suddenly felt afraid.

"I came to inform you that we have Craig Manning in custody, or at least we had Craig Manning in custody." the police officer said taking his hat off.

"What do you mean _had _him in custody? You let him get away?" Sean asked shocked and angry.

"No… He was sent to a mental facility this morning. He was in unstable condition. He attempted suicide with his belt and, we just barely saved him so it was our responsibility to get him medical care immediately" the officer said quietly.

Ellie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Craig was going to be locked away. He had finally cracked and it was all her fault. He had been doing fine until she turned him down and now, he was as far from fine as possible. She felt horrible because, despite the fact that Craig almost killed Sean, he had still been her best friend for almost two years. He was the replacement Ashley, the replacement Sean, and the replacement Marco for quite awhile. And now, he became Crazy Craig, the one boy she tried to save and failed miserably.

Sean could tell that there was something terribly wrong with Ellie but, he did not realize it was because of the news.

"Ellie, sweetie, you okay?" Sean asked her rubbing her back.

"Yeah… I'm fine." Ellie said faking a smile. She didn't want to bring Sean down. He was in a hospital bed; he didn't deserve to have to deal with her problems too.

The officer left and a nurse entered. "Mr. Cameron, you're going to be okay. We've checked you inside and out and besides a flesh wound, you'll live. You need to be careful because the cut could break open from too much movement. But, you can go home today. Sean started to get up.

"Wait! We have to take the IV out… you don't want to have a needle ripped out forcibly kid!" the nurse said laughing. Sean looked embarrassed and Ellie left the room so Sean could change into his clothes.

She sat in the waiting room, contemplating everything. She felt so guilty and so… back to the old Ellie. The Ellie who cut, the Ellie who hurt, the Ellie who had no one to stop her and she was afraid. For the first time in her life, she was truly afraid of herself.

Sean came out wearing his tattered clothing and his million dollar smile.

"Ready to go?" He asked her, grabbing her hand.

"Yeah, let's get you home. We can watch old crappy movies and eat pizza" Ellie said then thought about it "How about this time we order Chinese?" She said.

Sean laughed, "Sounds good. I don't think I'll be in the mood for pizza for awhile."

Ellie and Sean got in her car and, she drove them back to his place. They walked up to the apartment, her helping him up the stairs and then stopped at the door. Ellie took his keys and opened the door.

The house was a mess but, it could have been worse. The police had cleaned up the crime scene for the most part. There was a bloodstain on the carpet but other than that, it just looked like they had no furniture and a lot of laundry on the ground. To their surprise, Jay was in the kitchen.

Jay gave Sean a man hug and they started talking about the previous night's events. Ellie on the other hand was paying no attention. She had gone back to the picture Sean had of them on his wall. She looked at it smiling and saw that she could see the bloodstain in the reflection of the glass. She teared up knowing that she was the reason it was there. She tried to focus on anything but the bloodstain but it was almost as if it was staring at her and that it was challenging her to beat it, which was something she just couldn't do. Ellie was never good with confronting the past so why would she be good at it now?

Sean and Jay were glancing at her. She looked as if she was in a kind of trance and Sean hadn't seen that look on her face in a very long time but, he had seen that look on her face before. The last time he saw it though was when he found Ellie cutting in her bathroom when she lived with her mom. It was so very long ago that he had almost blocked it from his memory but it all came rushing back.

"Hey guys, I'll be right back, bathroom break" Ellie told them, heading towards the bathroom. Sean just nodded dazedly as she went in the bathroom and locked the door. And for some strange reason, he knew that at that very moment, Ellie had been broken.


	8. Beautifully Broken

**Beautifully Broken**

Ellie went into the bathroom. She knew what she was about to do was wrong but in a way she didn't care anymore. She loved Sean and the fact that he got hurt for her, killed her to the core. She couldn't live with that guilt.

She looked in her pocket and found a piece of glass that she has picked up from the floor in the kitchen while the boys were talking. She stared at it almost afraid of herself, but in the end the desire consumed her. She brought the sharp glass to her wrist and torn a long line straight down her vein.

She started to bleed immediately and stared at the ceiling thinking of Sean. She hoped he would forgive her and life a full life. She hoped that he would forget her as well. She was thinking about her love for him as the world turned black before her eyes and she passed out.

Meanwhile, Sean could feel something was terribly wrong. Call it intuition, but he knew that if he didn't get in that bathroom at that very moment, Ellie would be lost forever.

He ran to the phone and dialed 911.

"Sean, what're you doing?" Jay asked, confused at the sudden change of personality in his best friend.

"She's going to kill herself. I know it! Please, just go try to pry the door open. Use a crowbar or a screw driver. All my tools are by the couch." Sean said frantically. Jay under stood immediately and went for the nearest crowbar. He pushed it into the door crack and within moment he had pried the door open.

Sean finished his call and ran to the door, but the sight he saw made him almost collapse in despair. There was the woman he loved, bathed in her own blood, lying on the bathroom floor, seemingly dead. He immediately started to tear up, but Jay pushed passed him to feel her pulse.

"She's still alive! Go get me some serious bandages and we need to elevate her to keep her from losing blood, either that or we need to stop the blood flow to her arm!" Jay said picking Ellie up in his arms and heading over to the couch.

Jay layed her on the couch as Sean grabbed some disinfectant and a huge cloth bandage. He ran over to them and poured the whole bottle of disinfectant on her arm. Jay grabbed the bandage and wrapped her arm as tightly as possible them they had to sit and hope. Jay silently looked at the walls, unsure of what to say to comfort his obviously upset best friend.

Sean was silent and holding on to Ellie. All he could do was pray to god.

_Dear God,_

_I know I'm not religious. Nor do I go to church but if you're really up there then please save her. I will do anything you want. I will give up cars, and beer, and sex for the rest of my life. Just please don't take her away from me yet._

Sean stared at her face and kissed her lips hoping that maybe that would keep her alive. About three minutes later, there was an abrupt knock on the door and a massive pack of paramedics rushed into the room and ripped Ellie from Sean's arms.

They refused to let him ride in the ambulance as well. Since Ellie was still 17 ( only by a month mind you) she was technically a minor and only a family member would be allowed to go with her.

It was so unlucky that Ellie started school so young at this moment, but Sean just ran to his car to follow the ambulance accompanied by Jay. They ran through red lights and went at speeds that were technically unacceptable to the law, but they honestly could care less.

Ellie was the one thing that Sean had truly ever loved. The only person who truly understood him and the thought of losing her made him want to breakdown and follow in her path with a similar act. But he would never do that, he was much too logical. Jay drove considering he didn't want a stressed out Sean behind the wheel.

They got to the hospital only to be escorted into the waiting room of the ER. Sean knew the hardest part was waiting, and calling her family and friends.

The first person he called was Marco. The moment he told him Marco sobbed and hung up in a rush to get there on time. Then, he called Mrs. Nash, who did nothing and was convinced her daughter's name was Amelia. He assumed she was drunk. The next person on the list was Ashley, who was clam and got there within twp minutes of Marco's arrival along with a concerned Jimmy. The last person to call would be the hardest.

Sean looked up the number to the central base of the Canadian air Force. They instantly connected him to Sergeant Jacob Robert Nash, also known as Ellie's father. Mr, Nash picked up very cheery. Sean knew that telling him this kind of news would not be pleasant.

"Mr. Nash… Ellie… well Ellie tried to kill herself tonight" Sean said getting straight to the point.

"What!? My poor sweetheart! Is she okay?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

We… um we don't know yet. They won't even tell us anyways because we aren't family." Sean said sadly.

"Isn't Rebecca there?" he asked upset.

"We called her but… she was … sir she was drunk, again. I'm sorry" Sean told him mournfully.

"I'll be there in 8 hours!" Mr. Nash said and he hung up.

Eventually, after five long hours, Mrs. Nash arrived, sober with a hangover. She asked about her daughter without much real concern.

Four more hours passed yet still they knew nothing. Mr. Nash walked into the hospital and rushed to his wife.

"How is she? Is she alright? Does she need anything invasive or anything?" he asked his wife frantically. She merely shook her head.

"They still haven't said a word, yet sir" Sean said as he went to shake his hand.

"Sean… nice to meet you in person, I just wish it could have been under better circumstances." He said shaking his hand.

About twenty minutes later, after all important introductions were made, a doctor came out calling out "Ellie Nash? Anyone here for an Eleanor Marilyn Nash?" the doctor said to the large crowd of the ER waiting room.

"Over here! How is she?" Mr. Nash said as the doctor approached.

The doctor came up to them with a solemn face and started to talk.


	9. Goodbye To You

A/N: wow it's been forever… I'm sorry for the lack of updates… but this school year was terrible for me and updated was near impossible

**A/N: wow it's been forever… I'm sorry for the lack of updates… but this school year was terrible for me and updated was near impossible. I'm going to finish this story and my others… and start some new ones. I will update this again tonight so don't worry! I'm going to make up for lost time! I can promise at least 2 chapters tonight… maybe more. AND the title MAY be deceiving… tee hee**

**Goodbye to You**

The doctor stood there and took a deep breath. Sean was shaking, the anticipation and terror of the situation making his nerves beyond anything he had ever experienced before.

"Well, I'm happy to say she'll live. You got her in just in time, a few more minutes and we would have surely lost her. She suffered sever blood loss, so she will have to undergo a blood transfusion. She suffers minor lung damage from the glass going into her side from her fall, so she might have asthma in the long run. But other than that, she's going to be fine" the doctor said finally.

Sean let out a sigh of relief. Mr. Nash hugged his wife tightly and took a deep breath. "Can we see her?" he asked the doctor.

"Right now she can't see more than one person at a time but when we let her out in 24 hours, then you all can see her as a group." the doctor replied.

As much as Sean wanted to see Ellie, he knew that seeing her father was of more importance so he said goodbye to Mr. Nash and headed home despite his desire to spend the night at the hospital.

The next morning, Sean got up early and cleaned up the house from the previous nights events. He could not get the image of Ellie lying dead on his bathroom floor out of his head.

He walked into the living room and broke down, knowing he had almost lost her. It was at that moment he knew that Ellie was the one. He knew that if she had died, he would truly be lost.

He went to work that day as usual, considering Ellie could not leave until 8 pm. He went on with work as normal, minus the pat on the back he got from Jay to make him feel better, or it could have been to rub grease on him, but he preferred to pretend Jay actually cared how he felt.

It was closing time, when Emma walked into the garage. Sean turned around and saw her standing in the doorway.

"Sean, we need to talk" Emma said, sitting down in a chair by the doorway set there for neurotic customers insisting on watching the mechanics.

"Emma… I have nothing else to say" he said looking at her. Emma looked down and nodded.

"But I do…" she started to say, "Sean… I have loved you since I was 12 years old. You were my first love, my first kiss, my first time, my first everything. I guess the thought of losing you kills me because… I had you first and I've lost so many things I've loved in life that I don't want to add you to that list." Emma continued on to say.

"Emma, you're not losing me… not as a friend. I will always be your friend, but I can't be anything more than that. You were my first everything too, but you can't live in the past Emma. You're my past and Ellie is my present, and my future. I'm sorry." Emma looked away sadly and nodded.

"I guess this is goodbye then, no more of this getting back together thing, huh?" she said quietly.

"It's over… no more of this get back together thing." Sean said sure of himself.

And with that said, Emma walked away and Sean finally was free to love Ellie as much as he chose to.


	10. She's In Love With The Boy

She's In Love With The Boy

**She's In Love With The Boy**

Ellie stood in the lobby of Toronto General Hospital with her father and mother, waiting for Sean to arrive. Her dad and mom were giving each other this lusty look which half made her want to gag and the other half of her was happy for them, being together for even a moment.

She looked at her arm, bandaged and cold. She felt stupid for what she did, she knew in her heart that dying really wasn't the answer, and that by dying, she would lose everything she loved. She knew that there would be a lot of explaining to do once her and Sean got to his apartment and she knew it wasn't going to be easy, but Sean was worth it so she would tell him everything he wanted to know.

She looked up to see Sean walking in with a small bouquet of lilies and a smile. She smiled back thinking _How is it this boy still remembers my favorite type of flowers?_

"Hey beautiful" he said with a kiss to her cheek. She laughed at that saying "Beautiful? Hardly, but thanks". Sean shook his head, knowing that disagreeing with her would lead to a useless yes/no battle. Sean looked over to see Mister and Misses Nash ready to jump each other and took Ellie's hand and led her to the car.

They got in, but Sean didn't turn the ignition on.

"Ellie… we need to talk about this" Sean said moving to face her in the car.

"Sean, let me explain, please." Ellie said staring into his eyes. He nodded and held her hand kissing the palm.

"I didn't want to die… I just, didn't want to feel. I guess I thought that… maybe if I died then I wouldn't feel. But, then I wouldn't feel anything good either which was what I didn't tell myself. I wouldn't get to feel love, or joy. Anything. I only did because, I cause you pain and I didn't want to feel like I had. I didn't want to look at you and only see the pain I caused you, I didn't wan to hurt you again… and I thought without me you'd be better off. But I was stupid, and I was wrong." Ellie said, never looking away from Sean.

"Ellie, I don't blame you for what Craig did, and you can't blame yourself. I learned that the hard way. I'm not mad at you, we all deal different ways. I ran away, and you tried to disappear, we cope badly. But, if you ever feel like that again, don't do it. Ellie, seeing you on that floor made me realize that I can't live without you. Or actually, I can but I don't want to live without you in my life. We're even, okay? I left you for Wasaga to deal, and you forgave me. You left for Invisible Land, and I forgive you because I love you. I always will, no matter what you do okay?" Sean said shaking her hands as he said every word.

Ellie looked at him, so in awe of the man he had become over the years. She always knew in her heart that he was the man that she wanted everything with, the whole enchilada, but she never knew that he would be this amazing.

Sean noticed a look in Ellie's eyes that he had never seen before. "Ellie? What is it?" he asked, unsure of what the look was.

Ellie kissed him passionately and with as much force as she could from the awkward position she was sitting in. Sean responded wholeheartedly and smiled when they finally broke apart.

"What was that for?" Sean asked smiling.

"For being everything I always wanted" Ellie answered nonchalant.

Sean looked at her questioningly until she said "What I mean… is that I always knew you'd go from being an amazing boy to being an amazing man. I always pictured the rest of my life being with you when I was younger, and honestly I'm just glad that I'm with you now at this very moment. No guarantees or anything, but I'm still glad".

Sean kissed her softly and looked into her eyes looking for any trace of fear or doubt. But when he saw none, he knew he was making the right choice. "I have a surprise for you! Close your eyes and don't ask where we're going, okay?" he said covering her eyes with the handkerchief in his back pocket.

"What? Sean!" Ellie said laughing and nodded going along with his crazy idea.

Sean drove at top speed all the way to the parking lot of Degrassi. He took the handkerchief off her eyes, telling her to keep her eyes shut and went inside. Luckily, it was Parent's Night and the doors were open. He went inside, leading her up staircases and elevators and even a ladder until he told her to open her eyes.

Ellie looked around and then looked at him questioningly "And we're on the Degrassi roof because..?" she asked him. Sean led her to the exact spot where he held her hand those two years before then told her to sit on the pipe they had sat on.

"If we're reenacting the say we met, I'm going to laugh" Ellie said with a smile on her face.

"No, we're not reenacting the day we met, now shush! This is my moment." Sean said standing in front of her.

Ellie laughed then stopped suddenly when Sean knelt before her on one knee. Her breath caught in her throat as he fumbled for something in his pocket. He finally pulled out a fortune cookie and handed it to her. Ellie looked at him strangely, not really expecting a cookie. She looked at the cookie then at Sean confused.

"You think I should eat more Chinese?" Ellie asked laughing slightly.

"No, I think you should open the cookie…" Sean said with a smirk on his face meaning he was either hiding something or plotting. Ellie opened the cookie to find a piece of paper. Her fortune read:

_Look in his back pocket. Lucky numbers: 1,24,33,45,54,55,72_

Ellie laughed then got up and reached in Sean's back pocket and found another piece of paper. It read:

_Ellie. Look up._

Ellie looked up to only see the stars gleaming and then looked at Sean again. This time though, he was on one knee and holding out a ring. She held her breath and all he said was "Say yes". Ellie laughed, pulled him to his feet, kissed his cheek and then said "Yes".

Sean lifted her off her feet and kissed her too many times to count then finally slipped the ring on her finger. "Wait… so why'd I have to look in your back pocket and look up?  
Ellie asked as the walked to his car.

"I had to get you to stand up somehow, didn't I?" Sean answered laughing and kissing her forehead, then her hand, then finally her lips. Ellie kissed him back pulling at the hem of his shirt. Sean picked her up and sat her on the car, continuing to kiss her.

Suddenly, they heard some kids approaching from the front of the school and broke apart, fixing their clothing.

"Home, like right now, please?" Sean asked, dying to get her alone so he could ravish her. Ellie nodded quickly and they sped off towards his apartment.

**A/N: Next chapter will be them getting to the apartment so it WILL be a lemon, beware. It won't be sleazy though so if you want SLEEZ sorry. There's BIG Difference between romance and sleazy. Oh and this story will end with their wedding… and then I'll do and epilogue like for 10 years later or something, k? Should be another chapter tonight!**


	11. I Need You To Love Me

I Need You To Love Me

**I Need You To Love Me**

Sean and Ellie hurriedly drove to the apartment while giving each other longing looks. They sped above the speed limit, making the normally ten minute drive a three minute drive.

The moment Ellie stepped out of the car, Sean had her pinned to the car. He kissed her neck, then her ear and then kissed her lips with more passion then ever before. Ellie whimpered at the pleasure she was receiving which encouraged Sean to kiss her even more deeply.

Sean quickly grabbed her hand and ran towards his apartment, making Ellie giggle at his enthusiasm. He fumbled for his keys and finally opened the door, pulling Ellie inside and closing it quickly.

Within moments, he had her pressed up against the door, nibbling at her neck sensually as Ellie mewed in appreciation. Ellie pulled at the hem of Sean's shirt and Sean quickly pulled it off, exposing his muscles to her. '_Sean Cameron, nature has been good to you'_ Ellie thought as she kissed his shoulder. She bit his shoulder playfully and Sean picked her up and laid her down on the couch softly, lying on top of her with care.

Ellie kissed him sweetly and Sean nuzzled his head into her neck causing her to kiss his cheek then play with his fingers idly. Sean kissed her again, this time more passionate and urgent. Ellie kissed him back, wanting nothing more but to be with him. Sean ran his hand under then hem of Ellie's shirt causing her to squirm, giggling she said "Sean that tickles!" Sean smiled and did it again, then kissed her neck, biting it then licking the spot to soothe where his teeth had previously been.

Sean pulled at the hem of her shirt lightly and Ellie nodded, urging him to continue. Sean swiftly pulled of her shirt, taking in the sight of her lying beneath him, _'Why didn't I do this before'_ he thought. Ellie kissed him, running her tongue across his lips, a move which he enjoyed greatly. Sean responded by opening his mouth and they remained in a tight embrace.

Ellie reached between them, undoing Sean's belt and unbuttoning his pants. Sean slowly kicked off the heavy denim material, leaving him only in his boxers, his arousal apparent and poking against her thigh. Sean kissed her chest, down to her cleavage and he slowly reached behind her to unsnap her bra clasp. He fumbled slightly and she smiled, reaching behind her and helping him unclip it. He slowly pulled it down her arms, and threw it behind him, continuing to kiss her.

He slowly took her left nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling gently upon it, causing her to squirm beneath him. He moved to her right breast and elicited the same reaction from her again. Ellie smiled and whispered in his ear "Bedroom?" Sean nodded and got off of her, then picked her up and walking slowly to the bedroom. He opened the door then laid her on the bed, softly kissing her neck.

Suddenly, they heard a sharp knock at the door. "Ignore them!" Sean mumbled into her ear, kissing her sensually, ignoring the knock. "Sean! It's me, Emma. I need to talk to you!" they heard coming from the door. Sean groaned and looked at Ellie annoyed. "Go on, I'll be here when you get back." Ellie said softly running her fingers through his hair. He kissed her softly, then pulled on a pair of jeans and went to answer the door.

Sean opened the door to find Emma pacing. "Emma what's-" Sean started to stay before her was cut off. "I love you! I thought about it. I know you say you 'love' Ellie but I know you want me. I know Sean… we belong together. I want to give this a shot, and is you're willing to, I won't tell Ellie. Promise… I can keep a secret." Emma said, advancing on him till he was against the wall, trying her best to be seductive.

"Emma, you just don't get it do you? I don't love you! I don't, maybe I used to in high school but you're a bitch! You are a bitch, you treat me like crap and honestly you couldn't pay me to be with you. I tried being nice, being friends but you have to deal with it. I want to be with Ellie, for the rest of my life. She's the girl I want to make Missus Cameron, not you." Sean said moving away from her.

Emma looked at him angrily, slapping him across the cheek. "You will miss me, mark my words Sean Cameron." Emma said, turning on her heel and slamming the door behind her. Sean shook his head and locked the door so Emma wouldn't attempt to come back. He made his way back to the bedroom to find Ellie under the covers, her clothes on the floor smiling at him. Sean smiled back "Looks like you got started without me, huh?" he said teasingly.

"C'mere" Ellie said seductively. Sean walked over to her and she pulled him lose and whispered in his ear. "I heard what you said to Emma…" Ellie whispered to him, staring into his bright blue eyes. Sean nodded at her and said "Okay… did I say something wrong?" nervously. Ellie shook her head and smiled "No, you said something right" and kissed him, pulling him on top of her. Sean smiled and got on top of her, careful not to put all his weight on her.

Ellie laughed as he tried to get under the covers and shook her head. "What? I can't come in now?" Sean asked confused and frustrated. Ellie giggled and whispered, "No clothes allowed… sorry" and looked at his jeans. He smiled and took them off, kicking them to the other side of the room. He tried to get under the blankets again but she shook her head and smirked "Boxers aren't allowed either." she said slyly. He rolled his eyes and slid his boxers off, exposing his manhood to her for the first time.

Ellie's eyes widened at the sight thinking to herself '_and that will fit in me HOW?_' getting nervous at the mere sight of him. He got under the blankets to pull them down so he could look over her naked body. Ellie blushed, trying to cover herself with the blankets once again. "Don't Elle, you're beautiful." Sean said, his breath taken away by her beauty. Ellie smiled and kissed him deeply, pulling him on top of her. Sean tried to lift himself so his weight wasn't on her, but Ellie simply said "no, I like your weight against me" getting him to cease then begin kissing her neck softly.

Ellie smiled and ran her nails lightly down his back, causing him to shiver in anticipation. Sean slowly worked his way down her body, kissing her breasts, then stomach, and then dipping his tongue into her belly button, finally stopping at her mound. He looked up at her for approval and she bit her lip and nodded. He slowly coaxed her legs apart, dipping his tongue inside of her. Ellie moaned quietly, trying to keep her voice down. "It's okay, I want to hear you react" Sean whispered up at her, continuing his ministrations while adding a finger. Ellie moaned uncontrollably, enjoying what his mouth and hands were doing to her until she couldn't hold it in anymore and came suddenly.

Sean carefully made his way back up to her kissing her neck softly. She smiled up at him and kissed him deep and lovingly. Slowly, she flipped them over so she was on top and smiled at him devilishly. Sean raised his eyebrow and slowly Ellie reached down and grabbed his manhood, running her hand up and down his length. Sean groaned and buried his head into her neck. She slowly moved down his body to them take him into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around him member eliciting groans loud enough to probably wake the neighbors.

Suddenly Sean pulled her up, murmuring in her ear "Not yet, I want to be with you when I finally come to". Ellie smiled and Sean got on top of her again kissing her sweetly. He kissed her neck and bit it lightly, enough to leave a mark but not enough to hurt. She kissed his cheek and she wrapped her legs around him, teasing him with her entrance being so near. Sean looked at her lovingly and whispered into her neck "Let me make love to you?" Ellie nodded and braced herself, closing her eyes. Sean grabbed her chin and told her "Open your eyes, I want you to see me, I want you to know this isn't lust but love". Ellie smiled brightly kissing him passionately, slipping her tongue in his mouth briefly.

They broke the kiss and stared into each other's eyes. Slowly, he entered her, both enjoying the feeling of ultimate togetherness. He started to move in and out of her slowly, Ellie kissing his shoulder as he went. They soon found their own rhythm and before either knew what was happening were both on the edge of their climax. Suddenly, Ellie tightened around him and they both came together.

After coming down from their climax, Sean pulled out of her, holding her close. Ellie kissed him sweetly and whispered "I love you" in his ear. "I love you too Elle…" Sean said smiling and holding her tightly. They fell asleep, not even remembering the most simple of things, like Sean had work in the morning, that Emma had vowed vengeance, and that Ellie had forgotten to tell Marco she wouldn't be in class the next morning.


	12. Straightjacket Feeling

Ellie woke up in Sean's arms the next morning with a smile on her face

**Straightjacket Feeling**

Ellie woke up in Sean's arms the next morning with a smile on her face. She looked over at Sean's face, seeing him asleep with a happy look on his face, and kissed his cheek softly. She slowly eased her way out of the bed and over to the bathroom, careful not to wake up Sean.

Carefully, she slipped out of her clothes and into the shower, turning on the hot water. She could feel her body tense up from the previous nights' events and slowly let the hot water calm her muscles. Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong arms around her waist and felt kisses on her neck. She smiled to herself and turned around to see Sean smiling back at her.

"Hey gorgeous… mind if I join you?" Sean said sexily in her ear, running his hand down to her butt. Ellie giggled and nodded, kissing his cheek and continuing to wash her hair. Sean tangled his fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp, while Ellie lathered the rest of her body. Once she was clean, she lathered up Sean, teasing him as she reached his manly areas.

The got out of the shower and Sean left for work, kissing Ellie's cheek. Ellie looked at the clock and decided to head over to The Core, hoping to get some work done. She arrived there to find the office empty and an assignment on her desk. She was supposed to cover a local band called Magnets at a club the next day, so she went to work on finding information on the band.

After researching for about an hour, she heard the door open. She ignored it, assuming it was Eric or Jesse or one of the other reporters, until she was hit in the head with something and the world turned black.

Across town, Sean was working on cars while in the happiest mood he had been in for a very long time. Jay watched him from across the room shaking his head at how lovesick his best friend seemed.

"Jay… can I uh… ask you a serious question?" Sean said right after finishing work on a red Honda. Jay looked at him confused from under the hood of the white BMW he was changing the oil on. "Sure..?" Jay replied, continuing his work. Sean walked over and leaned against the car.

"Emma came over last night when me and Ellie were getting intimate and-"Sean started to say. "Dude! You got in Red's pants? Right on!" Jay said patting his back. Sean shook his head, "Not the point, man!" Sean told him, shaking his head annoyed. "Emma came over and she was really mad man. You don't think she'd do anything to, I don't know, hurt Ellie, right?" Sean asked seriously. Jay turned around to face him with a worried expression which Sean barely ever saw.

"Honestly, Emma is vengeful. She will do anything to get what she wants. I've seen her hurt Red before. I mean, when you were gone, she was ruthless. She spread all sort of shit about her. She has a nice piece of ass… but if Ellie gets in the way, she will do anything to make sure she gets out of the picture." Jay said truthfully, shrugging his shoulders. _'Maybe I should call El… just to make sure…' _Sean thought to himself. He walked over to his jacket and took out his cell, dialing the phone and getting no answer.

Once his shift was over, he made sure to hurry home. He got there but Ellie wasn't there. _'Maybe she is working… I mean she's a journalist, probably has a column to write' _Sean tried to convince himself, little did he know that he was far from right.

Over on the other side of town, Ellie awoke to find herself tied to a chair, with a serious headache. She looked around at her surroundings, to find that she recognized it as Emma's living room. She could see Emma in the kitchen messing with something in the sink that Ellie was sure was for her.

Emma walked into the room, holding a glass of some sort of green liquid. Ellie stared at her, fearing what Emma was going to do to her. "Well, look whose awake… my own little guest of honor." Emma said spitefully. "Emma, what am I doing here? What do want with me?" Ellie said shakily, trying to sound brave but failing miserably.

"Well my dear, you have what belongs to me, and I don't like that. So here's the deal… you break up with Sean, or I kill you." Emma said seriously. Ellie truly wanted to believe that Emma was bluffing, but Ellie was pretty sure that she wasn't.

"No, Emma. I'm not going to do that. It won't happen." Ellie said staring her straight in the eyes. Emma shook her head, advancing on her quickly. "Wrong decision Ellie…" Emma said standing right in front of her. Emma pried open Ellie's mouth, forcing the green liquid down her throat. Before Ellie knew what was happening, the room started to spin, and she was out cold once again.

Sean was sitting in his living room, starting to get worried. Ellie was supposed to have been back hours ago, and Sean had already called The Core twice. He had also called Marco and Paige, who said they hadn't seen her but, would keep a look out for her. Sean knew that something was wrong, so he decided to head over to Emma's to see if Emma had done something.

He drove over to the house, to find the door unlocked and the entire house empty. He searched the house, making sure he hadn't missed anything but right as he was about to leave, he saw a glint of silver on the floor. He walked over to it, and found the silver circle necklace that Ellie always wore. Sean knew that Ellie wouldn't have taken it off by choice.

Sean hurriedly called 9-1-1 then called Jay. Sean left the house and went back home, holding onto Ellie's necklace, praying that Emma wouldn't hurt Ellie. The police came over, asking if Sean knew where Emma could possibly have taken Ellie, but Sean sadly had to say he knew nothing.

Sean lay on the couch, Jay watching him from the kitchen, holding onto the necklace, trying his best not to cry. Sean knew that if they didn't find her soon, Emma would really hurt Ellie. Jay called Alex from the kitchen and they made plans to check out the ravine, because for some strange reason, they booth had a feeling that if Emma was going to show up, that was where it would be.


	13. Without You

Without You

**Without You**

Jay and Alex made their way to the ravine, leaving Sean at home in case Ellie managed to sneak away to a phone. They walked around, searching for some trace of Emma, when they saw Manny, sitting by herself, where the hook-up van was usually parked.

"Santos! Where's the van?" Jay asked, sitting next to her, trying not to let on why he was really there. "Someone took it, why?" Manny asked suspiciously. "Honestly? I'm looking for someone, and it just seems a bit fishy that the van which is always here is gone and so are they… any ideas?" Jay asked scooting closer to her.

Manny looked down then back into Jay's eyes, "Jay, I'm not sure who you're looking for, but if you want to ask, go ahead". Jay laughed at her bluntness, aware that there was some raw attraction between them, choosing to ignore it for the time being.

"I'm looking for Emma… have you seen her?" Jay asked her. "You want to be with her?" Manny asked confused. Jay laughed and looked at her like she was insane. "No! We think she might have something that belongs to someone else… I'm just trying to help get it back to the owner." Jay told her shaking his head.

"Emma was acting weird earlier… she made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone where she went but… maybe you should know…" Manny started to say. Jay looked at her, Alex coming up behind him. "I was on the phone with her earlier… she said she was going to take the van and go on a road trip to… some town in Manitoba? But the really weird thing wasn't the sudden road trip but the noise in the background. It might have just been my imagination, but I swear, I heard a muffled cry in the background and it definitely was not jack. It sounded more like a girl, maybe our age?" Manny said explaining everything she knew.

Jay and Alex looked at each other alarmed, knowing that it had to have been Ellie in the background. "What's going on?" Manny asked confused. "Ellie is missing… and Emma was pretty pissed when Sean turned her down last night… we just think, maybe she did something to her" Alex said quietly. Manny looked at them in shock, but quickly closed her mouth. "Emma said she'd be back by the 5th… so that gives you about 3 weeks before she plans on coming home… I'll see what info I can get and let you guys know, okay?" Manny said, patting Jay's shoulder.

They both nodded and headed back to Sean's apartment to find him in his bed, still holding Ellie's necklace, right next to the phone. Jay slowly walked over to him and shook him awake. "Dude, we think we know where she is…" Jay told him, trying to make sure he was paying attention. "So where is she? Is she alright?" Sean asked, sitting up quickly, desperate for information.

"Manny told us that Emma took the hook-up van and headed to some town in Manitoba. She is pretty sure she heard Ellie in the background of a phone call with Emma earlier today… Emma said she wouldn't be back for 3 weeks, so that's all the time we have. We just have to hope that she doesn't switch cars or change her destination." Jay told him, twirling his keys around his fingers.

Sean hurried and called the police, telling them the information they had gotten and packed a bag. "We going to Manitoba?" Jay asked him. "Yup, now get your shit, we gotta go now!" Sean said, grabbing a bag of chips and heading to the Civic.

Sean and Jay drove all night until they stopped in a little town on the edge of Manitoba called Creekwater. They spent some time at a rundown motel so that they could have a little sleep. Alex called them from Toronto, saying that Manny had heard from Emma and she hadn't given her any new info rather than that Emma hadn't changed her plans but had run out of gas on the highway earlier in the day.

Sean and Jay talked to people around town, getting names of as many small towns as they could. No one had seen Emma or Ellie, which they took as a good sign, they only hoped they wouldn't be too late.

Sean spent the next night calling the Toronto police, finding out that they had found the van abandoned right out of Toronto, so obviously they wouldn't be able to find them that way.

Jay could see that Sean was starting to lose his grip. He knew his friend was hurting and wished that Emma hadn't done this. What he really didn't understand though, was why Emma had taken off Ellie's necklace but not her engagement ring.

Meanwhile, Ellie was in the basement of a cold house in the middle of nowhere. Emma hadn't given her any food since she had taken her and her stomach was growling angrily. Emma had also taken her engagement ring, wearing it around Ellie to show her up. It killed Ellie to see Emma wearing it.

Ellie was tied tightly to a chair, and Emma would constantly give her that strange green liquid. Ellie knew it tasted familiar, but she wasn't sure how, until she saw the bottle. She had been with Emma for an entire week at this point, not aware that Sean was looking for her. And suddenly, she saw that the green liquid Emma had been giving her was a mix of rubbing alcohol and Ipecac.

Ellie had been throwing up ever since Emma had started giving her that liquid. Ellie also knew that if she was given too much of that foul mixture, she would go blind. She also knew that Emma had a plan to get rid of her soon. Emma had been walking around with a gun, threateningly looking at her at night, as if preparing her for her death. Ellie was absolutely terrified.

Another week went by, and still Sean had not found Ellie and Emma yet. He and Jay had been driving around for 2 weeks and still no one had found a trace of them. He knew that they only had one week left, or Ellie might not make it. Sean knew in his heart that Ellie was still alive, and he knew that she was getting closer to him.

They arrived in a little town called Maple Ridge, which barely even had a grocery store and Sean had a strange feeling that Ellie was there. They rented a motel and stayed there, looking around for Ellie or Emma. It had been three days, and then they saw Emma at the drugstore and followed her to a house. They knew that tonight was the night they would get her back.


	14. If You Could Only See

Note to readers: The next chapter is already written but if I don't get some reviews, you'll never read it

Note to readers: The next chapter is already written but if I don't get some reviews, you'll never read it!

**If You Could Only See**

Sean paced around the hotel room, wearing his all black ninja outfit that Jay had insisted on wearing to get back Ellie. He knew that tonight would be the night that determined the fate of Ellie, and he knew that if he didn't succeed her fate was sealed. Sean was nervous, but mostly, he was scared. Not for himself, only for Ellie… and what they could lose.

Jay walked in, carrying three cans of pepper spray, a crowbar, and a pistol. Sean gave him a surprised look when he saw the gun. "Do you really thing we'll need it?" Sean asked nervously. Jay looked at him and said, "If we don't, it'll be a miracle." Sean nodded solemnly, grabbed a bag of supplies and headed towards the car. Jay jumped into the driver's seat and headed towards the house.

They parked the car a block away, careful to make sure that Emma wouldn't be able to see it. They slowly crept to the side of the house and looked in through the window. Neither could see anything, rather than a couch and a coffee table. They walked to the back and looked into the kitchen, but ducked immediately. They could both see Emma, holding a large knife, cutting up vegetables for what they assumed to be dinner.

Jay ran to the car, pulling it into the driveway, while Sean monitored Emma. She finished her cooking and then walked down a flight of stairs. Sean found a window that peered into the basement and watched carefully.

Ellie was tied to a chair, frail and exhausted. She hadn't eaten in two weeks, and looked sickly pale. Emma sat in front of her, eating her vegetarian chili, relishing the look of hunger in Ellie's eyes.

"Want some food Ellie? Well you can't!" Emma said viciously. "Your time is running out, you'll die in that chair… and then I'll marry Sean" Emma continued as she shoved the engagement ring on her finger in front of Ellie's face, "And then we'll live happily ever after, and he'll forget that he ever liked you. He doesn't love you, you know. You're just my replacement. His heart will always be mine." Emma said, sitting down in a chair opposite Ellie, and picking up a gun.

Sean watched until Emma took out the gun, then he couldn't sit there anymore. He grabbed the crowbar from his bag and slammed it through the window, breaking the glass, and slipping inside. Emma stood up quickly and ran over to where Ellie was sitting, holding the gun to Ellie's temple.

"Put the gun down, Emma!" Sean said, advancing on her. "She has to go Sean, so you and I can be together. She keeps getting in the way, time for her to go." Emma replied. "Emma, don't turn into Rick! All you will do by killing Ellie, is hurting everyone like he did." Sean said quietly.

Emma stared into his eyes and slowly started to put the gun down. Sean tried to take it from her, but she them snapped it back over to Ellie's head. Ellie winced in pain. Sean grabbed at Emma's hand, and struggled with the gun, until there was a gunshot. Sean and Emma both fell to the ground, taking Ellie's chair with them. Sean groaned in pain, his arm was bleeding and Emma stared at the blood. "You weren't supposed to get hurt… only…" Emma trailed off. Jay came up behind her, and grabbed her, forcing her not to move.

The police showed up about ten minutes later, Jay had called from his car. They took Sean and Ellie by air to Toronto General, to make sure both would be fine… little did they know that this would be the night that would change their lives for good.


	15. Someday

Sean woke up to see Ellie in the bed next to him crying silently

**Someday**

Sean woke up to see Ellie in the bed next to him crying silently. "Ellie, baby what's wrong?" Sean said, hoarsely. "Sean! You're up!" Ellie said smiling, getting up from her bed and going to sit on his. Sean held her in his arms tightly, kissing her passionately. "Why were you crying?" Sean whispered in her ear.

"I was just remembering the past 3 weeks… I was so scared Sean… I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Ellie said crying into his shoulder. Sean held her until a doctor in a white lab coat came in.

"Ellie, I want you to know that I would never choose Emma over you." Sean said, holding her closely. Ellie shook her head and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Sean." Ellie whispered in his ear. "I love you too, which is why it was so hard knowing that she had you and I couldn't find you" Sean whispered to her, tears running down his face. Sean kissed Ellie sweetly and slowly they got more passionate. They stopped when they her an abrupt knock on the door. Doctor Summers, who had been monitoring Ellie, came in as they separated.

"Ellie Nash?" the doctor said, nodding at her. Ellie nodded her head and sat up to talk to him. "We ran your tests, and while the ipecac did put extra strain on your heart, it didn't break the liner so you should function fine, and the alcohol wasn't quite concentrated enough to hurt you or the baby so you should be ready to go once we get you on a weight gaining plan, just be careful and don't put too much strain on yourself." The doctor said.

"Wait! Baby?" Sean said staring at the doctor. The doctor nodded and took out a chart. "Yes, see here is the fetus, right here… wait, you two didn't know yet?" he asked slowly. Both Ellie and Sean didn't reply, so the doctor left to let them talk.

"A baby… we're actually having a baby. How did this happen?" Sean said aloud. "Ellie laughed, "Honey, we didn't use a condom, are you really that surprised?" she said, facing him. Sean broke out in a grin and laughed, "True… guess we can't preach safe sex?" Ellie laughed and lay down on the bed next to him.

"So what are we going to do?" Ellie said, snuggling up in his arms. Sean looked at her confused and replied, "What do you mean?" "I mean, are we keeping this baby?" Ellie said seriously, looking him in the eyes. "Of course we are! This is our child Ellie, do you really want to give it up?" Sean asked angrily. "Sean! Calm down… I want to keep it, I just wasn't sure you would want to." Ellie said quietly.

'_Crap… I made her cry. BAD SEAN'_ he thought to himself. "I'm sorry, I just didn't think…" Sean trailed off. "I know Sean, it's not a big deal… but how are we going to pull this off? I mean I can barely afford my apartment, and yours is so far away from school that once classes restart it won't be convenient. And you plan on shipping out? How are we going to do this?" Ellie said, starting to cry helplessly.

Sean could hear the desperation in Ellie's voice, and cursed himself for being the cause. "Ellie, I'm going to stay. I'm not going to ship out, I'll stay here and we'll get married and we'll have the baby and everything will be perfectly fine… I lost you once, I won't do it again." Sean told her, burying his face into her shoulder and murmuring the words to her. Ellie smiled and replied, "But is that what you want Sean? Do you really want to give up the rest of your life for me and a baby?" Ellie said quietly.

"Ellie… I would give up the world for you. And this baby, it's ours. No one can ever take it away from us. You and I made that, I could never leave our baby. Ellie, I want you, nothing more, nothing less." Sean said, staring into her eyes.

Ellie smiled and kissed him, holding his hands. "Think we'll be good parents?" Ellie said with a laugh. Sean nodded and said "Most definitely", holding her closely and kissing her neck.

"Sean! Not here…" Ellie said as Sean's hands started to wander. Sean groaned in frustration. "When are we headed home?" Sean asked eagerly. "Tomorrow… now get some sleep, you'll need it for tomorrow" Ellie said winking. Sean slowly drifted off into a slumber. Ellie stayed awake, watching out the window. To say she was scared would be an understatement, but not because of the baby. Emma still was out there, she might only get a warning. She would get out and so would Craig, and then things wouldn't be so happy.

Ellie fell asleep in her fear, not knowing that those fears would soon be faced and only with love could either of them conquer them.


	16. Nobody's Home

Ellie awoke the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the bleach white blinds, and the smell of hospital disinfectant which she loathed immensely

Nobody's Home

Ellie awoke the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the bleach white blinds, and the smell of hospital disinfectant which she loathed immensely. She rolled over and saw Sean sitting up watching Jerry Springer and laughing silently. She rolled her eyes, laughed and sat up. Sean looked over at her, then turned off the television, and got out of bed, moving onto hers.

"Hello beautiful" Sean said, whispering in her ear and grabbing her around the waist protectively. Ellie smiled and kissed his cheek, "Quite well thank you and you?" she whispered in his ear, eliciting a quiet moan and him gripping her tightly. Sean nuzzled Ellie's neck and growled playfully. Ellie pushed him off of her laughing "Sean! We're in a hospital! Wait until we get home!" "I'll hold you to that sexy" Sean said in her ear right before he went back to his bed.

They sat and watched television until Ellie heard a loud voice coming from the hallway. "You let me in there or I swear on my Italian heritage, I will sick my boyfriend on you!" she heard it say, Ellie started laughing hysterically. Marco came through the door with a bang, "Ellie! Thank god you're okay!" Marco said running up to her and hugging her enthusiastically.

Marco prodded Ellie about all the details of her, what she would call hostile environment, until Ellie could barely breathe, but when it came down to her diagnosis, the conversation started to slow down. "Ellie? What are you hiding from me?" Marco said, noticing how Ellie kept looking over at Sean every time they mentioned her condition. "Well… um… well there is something that is kind of important that's happening, I suppose" Ellie stumbled out. Sean walked over form his bed and sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"What's going on?" Marco asked confused. "Well, we're… umm having a baby." Ellie said, looking up at Sean. Marco stared at them, shocked for a moment, until he literally tackled Ellie, squealing all the while. "OH MY GOD! Ellie… you're going to be a mother! We… we have to go shopping, and get clothing, and furniture! Oh and…" Marco rambled on until Ellie covered his mouth with her hand. "Marco, calm down. We still have a lot of time. I'm only a month along." Ellie said laughing.

"Technically we have lots of time, but what about furniture, and a place for you and the baby to live, and names! Ellie! What are you going to name it?" Marco went on breathlessly. Sean laughed and answered "First of all, my fiancé and I are going to find a house, so don't worry about where her and my baby are going to be living". "Our baby!" Ellie said turning around and laughing. Sean nuzzled her neck and Marco smirked at them both. "Well, I'll be going now. Ellie call me tomorrow morning, and we'll go shopping okay?" Marco said, easing his way out the door to give Ellie and Sean some privacy.

Sean and Ellie watched television and joked around until the doctor gave them permission to leave. They stopped by The Dot, greeting Spinner and Jane, who were playing pinball, briefly. Then grabbed some coffee and hurried home in a frenzy of lust. They hurriedly opened the door to find Rebecca Nash sitting on their couch.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Ellie questioned, walking over to her. Her mother stood up, flailing her arms as she did. "Eleanor, where have you been? I've been- look- looking for you… for hours" her mother yelled at her in a distressed tone. Sean stepped in front of Ellie, fearful for her and for their baby. "Mrs. Nash, please calm down." Sean said quietly. "Calm down, you want me to calm down? How am I supposed to calm down when I find out my husband's dead and then I can't find my daughter for hours, huh? How am I-" she said.

Ellie dropped the coffee she was holding, and stared at her mother in shock. "What did you say?" Ellie questioned slowly, pushing past Sean slowly. "I come home to find an Army guy on my doorstep telling me your father isn't coming home and you decide to disappear to only God knows-" her mother started to answer when Ellie fell to the floor. "Daddy?" Ellie said to herself, staring at the floor. "Eleanor, stop being so dramatic, you knew he would never be coming home. We all knew he would have been home sooner if he was coming home." her mother said angrily.

Ellie sat in a heap, unable to move for fear of reality catching up with her. Her mother stormed out, her state of drunkenness making her completely uninhibited. Sean tried to pick her up but Ellie pushed him away and stood up, walking into the bedroom and locking the door behind her. She lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry. The tears came and went in an instant but her pain did not. She lay there late into the night, refusing to leave the room despite Sean's desperate pleas for her to come out and eat something.

She left the room late in the night, when Sean was fast asleep on the couch. She was tired and worn, and wanted to be alone, but she knew she needed to check on her mother. She snuck out the door, careful not to disturb Sean and walked through the quiet streets of Toronto alone. She got to her mother's house quickly, and opened the door with ease, but her heart was even more worn then when she entered.

She found her mother on the couch, unmoving with Vodka bottles surrounding her. "Mom, it's me." Ellie said loudly, closing the door behind her. Her mother didn't move whatsoever. Ellie walked over to her, and felt her forehead. It was cold, sweaty, clammy, and dead. Ellie moved away, running to grab her cell phone from her purse.

The paramedics came, but to no avail. Her mother was taken away from her, in a body bag to boot. And Ellie was left alone, in her childhood house, no longer anyone's little girl.


End file.
